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Sarah Who? The Top Ten Ways to Know You’ve Picked a Redneck Running-Mate

Section: Politics

Lloyd Williams

Sarah Who? The Top Ten Ways to Know You’ve Picked a Redneck Running-Mate

by Lloyd Williams

10) She abuses her power as Governor by trying to have her brother-in-law fired because he’s in the midst of a bitter divorce battle with her sister.

9) She further abuses her power by instead having his boss fired for refusing to fire her brother-in-law.

8) She’s a member of a Pentecostal church where parishioners speak in tongues and she believes that Creationism should be taught in science classes alongside Evolution.

7) She refers to the War in Iraq as “a task that is from God.”

6) She’s an avid hunter and a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association who considers killing defenseless animals like moose a sport.

5) She’s an anti-abortion crusader and proponent of abstinence-only sex education with a pregnant teenage daughter.

4) She’s a shotgun wedding advocate with a future son-in-law who openly brags on his obscenity-laced webpage that he never wants to have children.

3) She signs a bill making it legal to hunt wolves by helicopter, and supports legislation to remove polar bears from the Endangered Species List.

2) She’s a pro-oil drilling anti-conservationist who doesn’t believe that global warming is man-made.

1) When the first black man she’s ever seen lands the Democratic presidential nomination, she’s overheard by a waitress saying, “So Sambo beat the bitch.”

Attorney Lloyd Williams is a graduate of the Wharton School and a member of the NJ, NY, CT, PA, MA & US Supreme Court bars.

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